It's August 1st. The sun is shining in Seattle, Washington ☔️
I’m taking my sweet time packing my bag, contemplating whether to travel with my carry-on or check in an oversized suitcase. Should I bring one set of my sound bowls or both?
In the midst of this chaotic inquiry, I gave myself a pep talk: Go BIG or go home.
In my case, I was going home.
Home to Germany, to a land where my soul feels at ease and my emotions are embraced. I love that the U.S. has taught me a practical approach to packing: remain flexible and give yourself options. So, I decided to pack my clothes inside both bowl bags and check them into my ridiculously oversized hot pink American Tourister suitcase, where the weight at the counter may or may not pass the 20 kg (44 lbs) limit.
Everything is flowing, even the in-App notification from Condor Air: "Your flight is delayed by 2 hours - your new departure time is 19:00 and arrival is in 14 hours +1 day." Oh great! More time to chill. I can attend Pilar Leskos' August Attunement 😃 Amidst running around the city to pick up a travel yoga mat, grab forgotten figs from the studio fridge gifted by a co-worker, and casually making eyes with a handsome fella visiting the studio from LA… Flirty fi, your eyes are rarely distractible. Your Achilles' heels are out-of-towners, especially men who take care of their physique. Note to self: Commitment to mySelve(s) also means re-educating my ovaries on fiction, fate, and facts!
Onto the next moment, my friend Maddie drove me to the airport. Our conversation was a conscious unraveling of life, the gift that the Blue Dolphin is, and how Lori, our landlord, basically inspired her to sign the lease by saying, "You come to the Dolphin to heal your heart." Can it get any more real than that? This is exactly why I signed a lease that makes no sense on paper to my parents, especially since I could house-sit for them while they’re out of the country for 3 months. This desire feels right, an initiation teaching me how to lean into leading a heart-centered business—expansive and rich in nutrients for creative expression.
I am feeling relaxed. Travel days have a certain intensity that I am familiar with. Perhaps it's because my parents took me on a plane when I was barely one month old to visit my Oma in Munich, Germany. Or maybe because my childhood was so mobile that landing in a new city or country has become second nature into current adulthood. The airport mayhem, a sea of humans entering and exiting the maelstrom of departures and arrivals: the comfort of perpetual motion.
I put in a bid from economy to premium economy and found out I won just as we were about to take off. There was a middle seat, but the stewardess let me choose which row, as there were six open. With my small bladder, I picked a row where it would be easy to crawl over a person from the middle seat. I ended up sitting next to two women, one Eritrean and a Washingtonian, both on different adventures—one heading to her niece's wedding in Sweden, and the other on a backpacking trip. I airdropped a list of things to do in Munich and walked her through how to purchase the 49,-€ Regional Bahn ticket. We became fast friends, sharing a seat in the four-seater row, bunking our backpacks to free up legroom in our designated aisles.
It’s August 2. We landed at Frankfurt Am Main Flughafen. I waved goodbye to my new mates as my Tante Doris met me at arrivals. We embraced, and I decided that instead of staying in Frankfurt, I would hop on a train to Munich. After 10 hours of air travel, what’s another 3 hours to see my Oma? My aunt walked me from arrivals to the train station, and we purchased a Die Bahn ticket. Trains depart every hour—perfect, I will arrive at 19:00 at the München Hauptbahnhof Station. Just kidding… There was a smoker in my train cart, and the police came by to tell him to stop. All passengers had to disembark from Gleis (platform) 4 to 5, then shortly after the train stop changed again. We had to go under the bridge, up the stairs to 7, then back under the bridge to 5, because in addition to our smoker friend, there was an emergency at the Nürnberg platform, the next city over, so the tracks couldn’t switch. We just had to wait. New ETA is 21:44.
When we arrived at the Münchner Hauptbahnhof, I don’t know how my Papa was able to spot me out of a crowd of what seemed like hundreds of humans scrambling off the train. Shocked, annoyed, and equally happy to see him, I already knew we would somehow turn a 15-minute trip home into a one-hour escapade because neither of us wanted to wait 16 minutes for the bus. I became oblivious to the fact that my dad herded us onto the wrong tram… I, the willing sheep, followed. My mom jokes that my dad must have been Christopher Columbus in another life because he will set sail and not describe the logistics of the journey and only leave us the visual cue of his footsteps that imply we scurry after him on the hunt towards the next destination.
My dad wanted to take us from the tram to the metro to the bus. Naturally, I had a meltdown and stormed off in another direction to another tram and another bus. I wonder who else might share the same stubborn thrill of incessant adventure… Could that be me 😂? We ended up at my family friend's house, edging towards my wits’ end. I was ready for rest. I awoke around 6 AM to re-listen to the Attunement. I fell back asleep. My mom came downstairs to wake me, discombobulated by the fact that it was 1 PM.
I sprang out of bed, showered, and got ready to see my Oma and Onkel. We sat down for lunch, and Onkel T showed us the breathing techniques and hand gestures he learned in physical therapy to strengthen his lung capacity and heart health. He got up to demonstrate a few foot and arm exercises. The motions resembled a rookie audition for Footloose or Dirty Dancing. We couldn’t stop laughing, especially with Oma, 88 years young, trying to copy his moves.
Over the last few years, whenever I go to see Oma, my mom and I have started a tradition of curling her hair and clipping her toenails. In the U.S., it’s common to place elderly people in retirement homes or end-of-life care, under the supervision of sometimes burnt-out employees. My uncle and aunt have been the exhausted caregivers, and the compounding stress over decades might have contributed to my uncle's heart attack, which he survived just a few weeks prior. The joy of communing with them turned into primal wisdom; that we are living and operating on borrowed time.
Twelve hours of presence with them and extended family were absolutely worth all the change and chaos. The reality was I couldn’t control any of the external forces. All I knew was that I had a target in mind and needed to welcome the pivots and embrace my desire to be with family. I kept telling myself to flow with the shakes; even amidst moments of volcanic eruption, settle like ash, wait until it turns into solid rock, and even amidst the aftershock allow yourself to flow again.
Today is August 31, 2024
I’ve reflected on all that has happened since that first two 48-hour days in August. I flew in to attend a chanting circle in Dörnberg with Kevin James and Susanna, discovered that I am indeed a musician, reconnected with my heart, voice, and people from all parts of Europe that nourished my identity. I reconnected with my cousin, who had a health scare while being 8 months pregnant. Four past partners reached out, and I had to confront and collaborate with some truths about healing codependence in myself. My team and I graduated a new cohort of yoga instructors. I’ve led a medley of sound and somatic ceremonies virtually and IRL. I invited friends to set me up on a first date after months of introspection, and learning to become the love of my life. Two friends from different corners of the world surprised me. I was given a promotion at the company where I teach, despite having rejected the full-time role twice this past year 🤣
I’m feeling bold, grounded, and resourced like honey: abundantly sweet, dripping with varying shades of amber, allowing the sweetness to flow even amidst tension.
Where in your life are you welcoming change and embracing the sweetness of aligned action?
Upcoming Events
Friday, September 20, 2024 | Autumn Equinox: A Yoga & Soundbath Retreat for Welcoming Change
Saturday, October 5, 2024 | Harmony in the Home: A Yoga & Soundbath Retreat to Rebalance Relationships
Saturday, November 16, 2024 | Transform Mystery: A Yoga & Soundbath Retreat to Rebuild Intimacy and Trust
Friday, December 20, 2024 | Permission to DREAM: A Yoga & Soundbath Retreat
Musings
Exploring PIlar Lesko's Garden of EDEN energetic attunements, guest facilitators and monthly themes!
Kevin James chanting facilitator course retreats, song circles, and HERE
SPOTIFY PLAYLIST: Honey For the Huntress: Becoming the Love of Your Life
